If we admit that we want to change, things may unravel.
But things get better when they do unravel. It’s the beginning.
My earliest posts on this site were personal in nature. I tried to speak candidly about my struggles in dealing with a narcissistic parent. Gradually, the content became more generalized. I wanted to cover it all! But my focus has always been on healing from narcissism and toxic family relationships.
The steps I take to heal are ones you’ve probably heard a million times before: find an empathetic therapist, journal extensively, set firm boundaries, find a support system, and in more severe cases—decide on a minimal or no contact relationship.
Support systems are crucial because a narcissist’s biggest strength is their power to isolate you. They can consistently make you feel small and worthless. As a result, you may find yourself in unhealthy relationships, battling depression and anxiety, or living in fear of being judged for who you are. In my experience, isolation is one of the most dangerous outcomes of having a relationship with a narcissistic parent. It can lead to major depressive disorder and suicidal ideation.
If you are dealing with a narcissistic figure, find people you can trust separate from them. If family members cannot provide this, look elsewhere. It may take time. If you’re having monetary issues, therapeutic journaling and mental health podcasts may provide you with the support you need until you can do more.
For me, I supplement therapy with books, podcasts, and blogs. Earlier this year I discovered, The Narcissistic Family Files. It’s devoted to providing “insight and support for narcissism survivors.” It’s a go-to site because it reminds me that so many are going through what I’m experiencing. I am not alone.
Here were some questions that stuck out to me:
What lit my heart up this year?
What is causing fatigue?
What do you want to change in yourself and in the world?
What is weighing you down right now?
What do you fantasize leaving?
What have you bitched about on more than 3 occasions?
Other Takeaways from Danielle LaPorte:
“Most people don’t start living—truly living—until their parents die.”
“Most of us do things to gain love from our families of origin.”
What podcast, blog, or book has helped you on your mental health journey?