Yesterday, my guest post went up over at the Healthy Place. I’ve been a long time reader and fan of their work. Seriously, it’s like WebMD for mental health, but better! And that’s mostly because of the fresh perspectives from mental health professionals, advocates, survivors, or others currently struggling with a disorder. *raises hand*
But about my guest post. I proofed and edited my piece to the best of my novice ability, but when it went up, I couldn’t read through the whole thing.
I often cringe seeing my name attached to a mental health article penned by yours truly. This morning was no different. And I didn’t even fully go there…thank god for word limits.
This happens often. The cringing (and shame?) comes from a mindset where you’re conditioned to thinking everyone hates you.
It happened when I saw my post go live at Stigma Fighters and it happens every time I hit publish on this site.
I also don’t use a pen name, which could be foolish in the long-term, if I have to go back to a traditional corporate existence. But I hope not.
The life I want to live is one where I never have to hide facets of my life, which have made me who I am.
Over at Healthy Place, I wrote about avoidance.
I am the queen, high-priestess, and pope of this dangerous (yes, I said dangerous) quality. For years, I lived in a delusional space, where everything was JUST FINE! GUYS! REALLY! EVERYTHING IS GREAT!
Thinking about things that have happened, writing posts (like my Healthy Place one!), or talking (sobbing) to a therapist is unpleasant. It’s also embarrassing, excruciating, and/or a nightmare depending on the day and how deep we delve.
But running from it never helps.
Nor does drinking.
Or anything else that helps us hide and not think.
This rant could have also been my Healthy Place post.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.