Mental Health / Wellness

Steer Clear of Toxic Tyrants

Steer clear of toxic tyrants, they are everywhere:

“They are often family members, battering the very ones who depend on them.  All their taunts and threats and terrors function to make us fear for our safety, security, or prosperity so that we might fall in line with their demands.

Of all their ways to hurt us, belittling our worth is the tyrant’s most vicious weapon. ‘You are unworthy, stupid, inadequate, unskilled,’ they tell us.  Their harsh words and actions seek to box us into their concept of who we are and where we belong.  The effect?  We start to fear that we are not good enough or cannot win, and tragically this can quickly become a self-fulfilling prophesy.  We can come to believe we are as small as they tell us we are, and we can choose to stay in their pathetic boundaries of belief rather than roam freely into our own freedom.

We should not be surprised when others demean or resist our initiatives.  Not should we suppress our will and let them win.  We mustn’t let the wicked stoke our doubts into the mighty flames of fear that consume our dreams.

To these tyrants, we owe nothing.

A truly oppressive person cannot see beyond his or her own self-interest so no relationship with them will ever be joyful or reciprocal.  They are blinded by their ego and live in a world by themselves and for themselves.  Do not grovel to these people.  Do not try to placate them.  Do not hope they will change.  Do not engage with them or hand about with them.  Do not let them provoke anger.  Never sink to their level.

[…]

Every display of submission, deference, meekness, and compromise they see from the desperate or feeble among us gives them a perverse joy, and their power grows.  And every time we back down from them or minimize ourselves, we become more fearful and weak.

So let us be diligent in avoiding these people, without ever deviating from our own path… Our success lies not in their destruction but in our own advancement, not in the astonishment on their faces as we surge past them but in the joy in our hearts at having prevailed despite them.”

Brendon Burchard, The Motivation Manifesto

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