Mental Health

In My Shoes

“Uncertainty about parental love is, unfortunately, a fact of life for many children.  But my mother’s raging lunacy flared up so routinely that it left me in a constant state of bewilderment.  I could never understand what I’d done to deserve her wrath.  Her animosity rarely escalated into violence.  It was more a steady drip, drip, drip of psychological assaults and her evident pleasure in hurting me.  I was stupid. I was lazy. I was ugly.  I was a hypochondriac.  These were her endearments.

[…]

When the evidence is overwhelming, sometimes people at last face the truth.  There was no question that I had won, but there was no joy in demolishing my mother in a courtroom…  She did exit my body though.  Before the trial in Jersey I used to feel her in my chest all the time, but now that constriction was gone.  After forty years we were at last severed.”

Tamara Mellon, In My Shoes: A Memoir

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s